Class Action: Sabrina Carpenter v. Ex-Boyfriend's

The Court will now be hearing the Class Action suit, Sabrina Carpenter v. Ex-Boyfriend's on the grounds that men suck.

Your Honor, Sabrina Carpenter has done it again! A breakup album for the heartbroken, the happy, and those questioning whether or not to end their situationships. Carpenters' seventh studio album, "Man's Best Friend," not only triumphed on the charts but also captured our hearts.

The album is the current F*** all men moment, as we transcend into the creative narrative Sabrina creates for us. Instructed to listen to the album straight through, we follow the harmonies and melodies of her musical and lyrical plot line as we join her and choose to blame the defendant's moms. Not only making a convincing case to lock these men up for good, Sabrina also wrote us an album to obsess over, exploring sexuality and raw emotion.

"Tears," explores sexual attraction with its blunt lyrics: "I get wet at the thought of you/ Being a responsible guy." The tune portrays her attraction to a man who is not only responsible but also respectful, all wrapped in an upbeat groove cleverly masking its underlying themes of desire as "Tears drip down [her] thighs." In contrast, "My Man on Willpower," delves into the theme of sexual frustration, vividly painting the emotional distance that hinders the fulfillment of erotic urges and desires. Lyrics such as "He used to be literally obsessed with me/ I'm suddenly the least sought after girl in the land," and "He doesn't have time for me/ My slutty pajamas/ Not templing him in the least/ What in the fucked up/ Romanatic dark comedy," delve into the depths of our emotions, compelling us to confront sexual frustrations and desires.

Sabrina was not only writing pop hits but also adopting a feminist perspective while portraying relationships: raw, sexual, and brutal. Her music makes us confront the erotic and dirty while taking us through a whirlwind of emotions. By addressing these often-taboo subjects, Carpenter empowers her audience to embrace their own sexuality, feelings, and experiences, fostering a community and sense of understanding and relatability. Sabrina's bold approach to the pop scene enriches her artistry whilst challenging societal norms, encouraging open dialogues of love, sex, desire, and relationships within art and the everyday.

The sixth track, "Nobody's Son," resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced emotional turmoil due to a relationship. Poignant lyrics, such as "Here we go again, crying in bed/ What a familiar feeling" and "Probably should have guessed he's like the rest/ So fine and so deceiving," transport listeners back to those heart-wrenching moments when they broke your heart when you least expected it. Channeling that hurt and anger into a catchy pop tune makes the song relatable and an infectious anthem that you can't help but dance and strut along to. Encapsulating the essence of heartbreak, she reminds us that even in dark moments, there is a way to dance through the pain.

Sabrina escorts us through the exploration of "Man's Best Friend" emotional landscape, reaching a new level of comedic vulnerability as we explore the coping mechanisms of heartbreak in track nine, "Go Go Juice." Her creative melodies continue to entrap us in her vocal performance as we get lost between her imaginative world and our personal lives, as listeners correlate her lyrics to their experiences. Yet as we arrive at the album's conclusion, "Goodbye," we're transcending to a level of acceptance. The pop ballad kisses us on the forehead as it hurriedly escapes into the dawn, only to call us back late into the night. But men forget that they're the ones who leave first, and when facing rejection – directed at the defendant – the evidence persists to prove "And that's when you'll be holding hokey flowers standing at my door/ But I'll say 'Arrivederci, au revoir'/ Forgive my French, but fuck you, ta-ta."

Thank you, Your Honor... The verdict? The Court rules in favor of Plaintiff, S. Carpenter.